[Tfug] When RTFM is not enough

[Bowie J. Poag]

> Well then why don't these work?
>

(...various attempts to locate my penis deleted...)

Much like in fairy tales when a knight unwittingly walks up a dragon's tail
thinking it to be a hill, your frame of reference is off significantly. I
will have you know that my penis is so enormous that you are unable to
comprehend its sheer girth, length, and mass. My fiance' is capable of
comprehending its enormity, but only after several weeks of intense
training. Its so large that I have to carry it in a sling tied around my
neck. For formal occasions, I am forced to coil it around my midsection, and
then down my leg. When I get an erection, I tip over due to the change in my
center of gravity. I've had to install a large picture-window in the ceiling
of my bedroom in order for my enormous paynis to have somewhere to go when I
lay down in my bed.  Astronomers use my penis as a unit of measurement for
extremely long distances. If I took a Viagra, i'd have to take out a zoning
permit. I tried to take my penis grocery shopping once.. I got down the
aisles okay, but I had alot of difficulty rounding the turns. The Army keeps
my penis under surveillance 24 hours a day, 7 days a week incase some
towelhead tries to fly a 747 into it. Its so large that it has its own post
office, town hall, and commercial district. If I stand in a parking lot
facing north, and then turn slightly to the left or to the right, my penis
lays across several time zones.. It'll be 4PM on my nuts and 6PM on the
shaft. Anyway, back to Linux..

Welcome to the TFUG mailing list. I have an enormous prehensile penis.

Fucking lighten up, people. Jesus!

> I also tried Caligula, Draco and a few other likely surnames.

Did you try Mephistopheles, Satan, or Lucifer?

Cheers,
Bowie